Thursday, May 14, 2009

I Know My Enemy

Artist: Green Day
Album: 21st Century Breakdown
Year: 2009
Grade: 1 pretzel

Remember when Green Day released American Idiot? Remember how all those songs were inescapable for about three years, on both radio and television? Well, they’re going to do it again. Welcome to the soundtrack for your summer. Get ready for a seething chunk of ham-fisted sloganeering to be shoved down your throat until you choke on all the power chords. Get ready for one of the least intelligent criticisms of the Bush era possible. Get ready for an hour and ten minutes of Who-aping concept stupidity. Get ready for the brain-dead lead single “Know Your Enemy”. Get ready for 21st Century Breakdown.

But rather than telling you about this album, let me show you. Here are all my favorite lines from the record. I think they’ll give you a better idea of what I think of the album than any review ever could. Mull over them for a while. Digest them, if you will. Cry, if you must. Just don’t be surprised when this album wins Grammys.

We are the crisis of the class of thirteen, born in the era of humility”---“21st Century Breakdown”
Remember to learn to forget, whiskey shots and cheap cigarettes”---“Before The Lobotomy”
This diabolic state is gracing my existence”---“Christian’s Inferno”
You’re a sacrificial suicide, like a dog that’s been sodomized”---“East Jesus Nowhere”
Death to the girl at the end of the serenade”---“Peacemakers”
I am a killjoy from Detroit, I drink from the well of rage”---"Peacemakers"
Desperate, but not hopeless, I feel so useless in the murder city”---“Murder City”
Your bloodshot eyes will show your heart of treason”---“Viva La Gloria? (Little Girl)”
So what ails you is what impales you”---“Restless Heart Syndrome”
Coca-Cola execution” ---“The Static Age”
Idle thought leads to full-throttle screaming and welfare is asphyxiating”---“American Eulogy”
Then I scratched the surface in the mouth of hell, running out of service, in the blood I fell”---“See The Light”

Blech!

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